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Soothe My Soul Blog


Can Anger be OK?

Is Anger ok?

Anger is an uncomfortable emotion, we often try to avoid it.

But could it be useful? Could it be helpful to feel into it?

Anger is defined as a feeling of deep frustration and dislike, when something we perceive as unfair, painful or bad happens to us. 

It is often called a secondary emotion, that means it is often related to another deeper feeling like sadness, fear, rejection, guilt etc

I like to think of anger as a manifestation of other emotions, and I feel it physically in my body. as heat, inflammation, headaches, and irritability - I often can't sit still when I'm angry.

So if anger is an overload of another feeling surfacing as anger, when we deal with the emotion called anger, we can often help ourselves to move past something else that has been bothering us, whether we realised this or not. 

Some people end up stuck in this process for a short time, others are stuck there for years. 

So will I know why I'm angry?

How will i shift it?

Perhaps consider is your anger internal? Are you angry at yourself?

Or is it outward, are you angry at a something, or someone? 

Either way, the word is one letter away from DANGER, and this means it is literally in the "fight and flight" or panic zone, when it's felt in our physical body. So yep, you guessed it, the same techniques as anxiety can help when processing anger, or the time after the angry outburst has happened. I've mentioned before on the blog about the importance to slow down the breath, and practice your BOX BREATHING or 4-7-8 BREATHING can be really good way to calm quickly.

Many people prefer a physical exertion to blow the anger up and away. To physically exhaust yourself so that the anger is not going to manifest outwardly onto other people in ways such as words or violence. Or inwardly as an illness or dis-ease.

Others want to think, write or talk it away. Processing their thoughts and feelings to let go of it.  Or sitting in quiet contemplation to sit with it and observe it, and learn to be with it, before letting it go. Perhaps forgiving themselves, or others in the process. 

Obviously if you feel you might hurt someone, you need to remove yourself from that situation. And if you feel you might hurt yourself, please seek help. You can call (or text)1737 here in NZ anytime, to chat.

Everybody is different, so try different options to find what works for you. One thing is certain, if we don't address the anger to find what is behind it, it won't go away on its own. It can become very draining and lead to more work for your body and mind to deal with. I often see people in my clinic with physical pain they cannot let go of, which only releases once they talk thru an angry situation.

So be brave, don't be afraid of your anger! Feel into it and see what you can find behind your anger. it may be what helps you to process it and move forward more positively.


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