Resilience means being able to adapt quickly and cope with the unexpected, to remain in a positive state of wellbeing.
It is something that must come from within.
Our nervous system controls the responses in the body to any trauma or stress either perceived or otherwise.
We can support our body and mind to be relaxed and calm, which means the nervous system is not stuck on high alert.
Having a regulated nervous system is the key. It takes practice. At times of high stress or uncertainty it needs to be repetitive and intentional practice as often as needed, to influence the nervous system into more positive reactions to the situations as they arise.
There are many ways to support and train your nervous system, here are a few of my favourites:
This a simple and fast way to change our body from fight/flight/freeze mode into a rest and repair response. When we are in fight and flight the breath is short and shallow in the chest. When in rest and repair mode the breath is longer and deep which directly affects the body to be relaxed and calm. The more often we stay in rest and repair the more we build resilience.
I have made a video of my favourite technique for you try now CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE 4-7-8 BREATHING TECHNIQUE
Think of 3 things today that you are grateful for? This can be a great thing to do in the morning to have a positive start to the day.
Writing them down is a great way to have the gratitude felt deeper into the body and mind. If you want to extend that, you could try writing a journal. Regularly noting down the events of the day, reviewing how that went or thoughts and feelings around this, can be a good way to focus in and decide if things could be adjusted tomorrow. It is another form of simply noticing or being mindful, rather than distracted or dissociated from yourself and your feelings.
Spend some time to notice your thoughts as they come, and watch them pass like a cloud in the sky, then let it go. This is not easy for many people (myself included!) You don't need to unpack the thought or react to it. Just notice it without any reaction or judgement, then let it pass. The more we practice the better we get.
Spending time with friends and family can help you to feel more supported and share the load. It can feel instinctive to hide away when we are facing challenges, but ironically it's often the time we need others the most.
We can choose carefully the right people to spend the most time with. Building a balance of positive regular influences leads to a greater overall sense of wellbeing.
So if you have friend who is always complaining, or forgets to ask how you are, maybe see her only sometimes. Nobody is perfect of course. Friends make mistakes or go thru rough times too, but ultimately we are in charge of our time and how we spend it.
There will always be people we must see regularly and cannot change, eg colleagues or teachers. If you find them challenging, you could balance that out by choosing to spend your free time with more positive people. The people we see daily, affect how we feel. Who we spend the most time with matters, so choose wisely.
Looking after me, looks after my family...
Your wellbeing flows outwardly into your kids and family. Any of these tips can be done together with your children, teens and on your own.
The more you practice the better you get.
Talking regularly with kids about their feelings, how they choose friends, and learn from their interactions with their mates, is a great way to skill them up to be resilient adults.
I love working with children, teens (and their parents) particularly now they are growing up surrounded with uncertainty in the world. This means that their self care is taught as a habit that becomes instinct, and part of their daily wellbeing. Most often I use the physical Bowen Therapy treatment to show their body how to relax, and settle their nervous system. Then introduce a technique to take home and practice if they would like.
If you would like any assistance please reach out, message me. I am passionate about addressing anxiety and building resilience, and happy to share any resources and show you what has worked for me and my clients.
We are all in this together ❤